Ya Ya You Is Welcome

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

So my summer has sort of gonne through a weird wave it started out completely hectic, it was like being in a subway car at the peak of rush hour. Lexington avenue is code for the end of June. All the people rush out and all of a sudden you find yourself standing in train car completely alone, seats empty newspapers saving the seats for you, empty coffee cups and power bar wrappers are slightly rolling back an forthe as if someone had been there a minute ago. So i wouldn'y say that the end of june was rock bottom or anything but i felt the negativity overwhelming my brain suffocating it from thinking one positive thing or at least allowing me to feel it. and not i've sort of levelled out, relaxed. it's a comfortable train ride, kinda of like the long island railrooad smmooth and quiet for the most part, enough seats are empty that the passenger has choices upon entering the car. i feel like I've leveled out. i do stuff but there are times where i stop and think man i don't have a thing to do today. Now things feel balanced.

Aida read my tarot cards last weekend it's weird how dead on some of the things turn out to be, pretty much everything she read about my past was true, i mean everything, one card came up and said that through positive thinking things will get better. that i'm facing and going to be facing a time when there is going to be negativity and positiviity but i need to stick to the positive control my mind and my emotions. and it's weird a lot of the times i am upset, sad or angry i bring it on myself. I think about things so much, i dissect things so much that i forget to just enjoy them. I let my mind wander and it tends to just sleepwalk into a dark alley. So i guess hearing that from a deck of cards really sort of did something to me and it's kind of snapped me out of this negative head.and has conitinued to do so every time i walk by a dark enterance. Anyway...

But hanging out with Aida was truely a special evning, we hun gout and talked after the reading. I rolled us a killer joint and during our high as a kyte frenzie we busted out journals and read back and forth old poetry and quotes we had come accross and loved. and it was just us. We really had a bonding day. I feel like she and I are like the same people sometimes. The evening was followed by Edward Scissorhands with Danny, which was really a fantabulous time. The next day i saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and I must say I was expecting a little more. It seemed too borderline. It gave a little of what I wanted but not nearly enough.

The next day Danny Eileen and I watched Vanilla Sky. It was my and Eileen's first time seeing it. I loved the movie, it was really good. I thought it progressed from reality into dreams into i'm starting to lose track of what's real and what's not, into i really dunno what the fuck is going on at ALL into, OH! It was an uplifting movie. It made me really happy.

Smiles all around for me. THE SUMMER IS ALMOST OVER! this is weird!

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