Ya Ya You Is Welcome

Thursday, October 06, 2005

I feel crazy these days. i don't know if half of my thoughts and feelings are real or justifiable. I've been having intense waves of loneliness overcoming me leaving me incompacitated. There are very few things in my life right now that are making me happy and I feel overall pretty goddamn bored with life. I'm just so sick of trying right now. I feel amost indifferent to everything. And the truth of the matter is i don't even know how true half of what I'm saying is. Am I just in the mood to complain so that's what i'm doing and rolling with it taking just a thought that popped into my head and dissecting it? Or is this really how i feel? is this the truth? I don't even know? and this is how i feel almost everyday. Am i really lonely? or am i making myself think i'm lonely.?am i really going crazy or am i making myself go crazy? Am I really bored and complacent and indifferent? or am i filled with a passion and a burning joi de vivre? my birthday is tomorrow. I don't really care anymore and a part of me doesn't even want to celebrate it. I can't do this...

1 Comments:

  • At 11:35 AM, Blogger Laurence O'Neal Suarez said…

    In confusing times like these, one thing you can be sure of, one undeniable truth is your present state of confusion. And that can be something of a help, I think. I think when we get so down into the muck of sticky misery, one dark thought is as good as the next. The details of the misery aren’t as important as acknowledging a general state of ennui. Better to be a damaged ship off course, than going nowhere at all.

     

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