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Monday, February 27, 2006

Lately...

Lately I've been feeling spacey again. A heavy loss in motivation which is driving me nuts. I feel like I keep procrastinating, putting things off and then they end up half assed and I'm embarassed of it a little bit. Pertaining to school at least.

I feel slightly bored with life. I need to do something extreme. I decided that I wanted to go to Chicago and visit my friend Crystal for sprink break. I haven't seen the girl in about 4 years now. I miss her a lot and need to do that. I'm also looking forward to my summer plans which are pretty much me going to Tennessee for Bonnaroo and then going to Armenia for a Photo internship. those two things are a must right now. I need something that's going to blow me away.

I find out March 1st whether or not I got into the School of Art and Design. my stomache's in knots over it. I've been learning so much in this photography class about paper film and light. I feel myself growing as a photographer and I couldn't imagine not being able to do it here. I did some pretty cool pinhole photography and made paper negatives and then positives out of the negatives. I'm also hopefully going to be working off a Nikon D100 Digital SLR off of my brother-in-law which is pretty flipping SWEET! I can't wait to learn how to use it and everything. I feel like i'm expanding in two opposite directions. I would really love to get a medium format camera though. They are so expensive but I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to own one. ESPECIALLY for my trip to Armenia, not having to worry about film being ruined is great.

I went to see the Disco Biscuits this weekend at Starland Ballroom. They played 3 nights of which is saw the last 2. I went to both show's sober not necissarily out of choice. I was really happy about it. I found that I had more energy to dance and it felt better to let loose sober than letting loose on drugs. Going to Bisco shows just makes me miss phish more though. It's a little sad. and kinda hard to handle. I met a girl this weekend named Annie who was into Phish and had been to a couple of shows I'd been to and we were just truely missing Phish.


That's all for now.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Portfolio Review

Well today is a major day, as it marks the day I conquered one of my biggest fears. Having my work judged by someone with credibility.

I'm in the process of applying to the photo program here at Purchase. The School of Art and Design here is one of the most comeptetive in the country and their program is world renowned. Today was the first step in. First of all the reviewer was my photography teacher from this semester. So I immediatly lost half my anxiety and realized "great I can just sit down and talk to my teacher about my work". He had nothing but positive things to say. He seemed to like my work very much and said that I was approaching this with the right attitude. He said that he would recommend me and that if by any chance I don't get in that I should let him know.

I doubted myself for so long. I felt so immature with my photography. I felt like a stupid little girl who went around taking shots of things. And it was such a personal experience for me that I was too afraid to make it out in the open and really do it even though i would make all these grand statements in high school about how i was gonna go to an art school and study photography. It feels so good to take a step towards that direction, towards that dream.

The lesson of the day "If you lose your dreams, you lose your mind"